These opposites, as all other forms of caring, would be a matter of opinion and preference if not for the Mishneh in Pirkei Avos: "Who is wise? One who learns from any person." There is obviously no baseline Mitzvah here, but there is the Lifinim MiShuras Hadin, going beyond the legal requirements, suggested by Pirkei Avos for being a better person: Be wise, by seeing something valuable to be gained in every person. Every person has something to contribute, and it is up to us to be wise and discover what that is.
By setting a standard for who we will include in a conversation, and what the conversation must entail for us to participate and decide if the person truly cares, we lose the wisdom of discovering something new in this person.
Certain elements have declared that the Rebbe did not care. Certainly, they say, he cared for ideas and objects, but he did not care for people, he did not see them as people.
I am not sure how this is possible in light of the fact that the Rebbe spent three nights every week from 8 p.m. until 6 a.m. for private meetings for everyone, allowing them conversation at their level. When this ended due to medical concerns, 6 years later the Rebbe began standing for hours every Sunday to allow anyone an opportunity to spend a moment with him, to say what they wish. This when every moment of the Rebbe was measured, to the extent that when he would come back into his office after Shacharis, as he took off the Tefillin Shel Rosh he would open the first Sefer, and as he took off the Shel Yad the next Sefer would be opened.
I might think of the story of the Senator whom the Rebbe suggested look into the new immigrants in Chinatown and make sure they understand the benefits and representation available to them. I might think of the Senator with whom the Rebbe discussed their desire to help the poor black out of poverty. I might think of the newly arrived irreligious Russian cab driver, who after spending hours pouring out his heart on his frustration with the lack of help he was receiving to settle in, found the Rebbe's eyes flowing with tears when he looked up.
It is the height of doublespeak to say that the Rebbe (and possibly the others so typified) did not care. If what the Rebbe did is not considered relating to people, if the Rebbe's care for every Jew in whatever state wasn't caring, then none of us care.
